Mental Health Fraud – Psychiatrists Currently Claim They Were Bonkers When They Invented Mental Illness
Defense lawyers representing 10,000 psychiatrists standing trial for the biggest mental health fraud in history currently claim their purchasers were suffering from a hitherto undiagnosed mental illness (Psychobabblorexia) after they accidentally fabricated 300 fake mental sicknesses and made everybody assume they were correct doctors.
Graduating from varied psychiatric schools like the Otto Von Bismarck Institute of Brain Hygiene and therefore the Drug-U-Like Emporium, the accused soon established themselves as consultants on writing prescriptions, killing celebrities, the eradication of parenting and education and convincing people they’re mentally ill.
By 2010 they’d succeeded in publishing 5 million newspaper stories convincing the entire population they could not eat, breathe, pee or suppose without the help of drugs. They brought about a serious modification in the treatment of individuals, significantly the view that all human behavior except torture, genocide and terrorism and invading little nations armed with spoons results from a chemical imbalance within the brain. Indeed, the brain was blamed for everything and was thought-about to be one thing of a disappointment thus that nobody minded very abundant after they proceeded to cut up and otherwise abuse the offending organ.
But last year a routine tour of the Brain-U-Like Institute by a group of ten year recent schoolchildren brought to light-weight bound discrepancies in the research the psychiatrists had used to establish the aforementioned legion of mental disorders – the main discrepancy within the research being that there had not actually been any beyond watching individuals in the street during low-and-Prozac breaks from the Institute’s cafeteria.
Entries in Psychiatry’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual that were based mostly on the imaginary analysis have now been withdrawn, reducing the hitherto five hundred page manual to an A4 pamphlet bearing the legend “Psychiatry Rools Ok.” on the front and “Whoops, sorry” on its inner pages. Many have hailed this new, streamlined version of the DSM as a breakthrough and psychiatry’s most scientific publication to date.
The psychiatrists meanwhile have modified their plea from “We have a tendency to are above the law” to 1 of “guilty” on one,333,789,567 counts of fraud, embezzlement, and getting money with menaces, one,678,009 counts of false imprisonment, 345,678,954 counts of drug pushing and 27,000,000 of inventing patients. They need additionally agreed to repay ,000,000,000 of dishonestly obtained funding from governments.
Seeking a light sentence for their purchasers, defense attorneys have pleaded that undiagnosed mental illnesses caused their shoppers to fabricate mental sicknesses that failed to exist and take tons of money from governments and medical insurance funds. They allege that they were fully out of their minds when they committed acts of vandalism against countless human brains, accidentally instigated the Nazi Holocaust and therefore the Ethnic Cleansing in the Balkans and inadvertently brought Western civilization to its knees.
Yet psychiatry’s colleagues in government and also the pharmaceutical business question this story.
“To my knowledge” said a spokesman “Nobody in government was aware that psychiatry has something wrong with it. We place the soaring crime, drug and illiteracy stats all the way down to the sheer cussedness of the average citizen.”
“With the trial getting into its 334th day, the judge asked why nobody had mentioned “this mental illness thing” before.
Counsel for the defense argued that psychiatry had solely discovered the existence of the new mental illness, psychobabblorexia, yesterday lunchtime.
“It’s a good issue they did,” he said “As a result of it appears we have one thing of a scourge on our hands.”